At some point we have to deal with what's real.

At some point we have to deal with the inside. At some point we have to deal with what's real. We have to stop over focussing on what we are doing or not doing.  We have to go inward to see the truth.  We are not defined by what we do, BUT make no mistake about it - what we do is telling of what's going on inside.  If you see the need to make some changes in your actions start by looking at the "why" not the "what".

To all the single ladies looking for love: Don't stop believing in love, but DO start believing in yourself.

Yes I admit, I'm a sucker for love.  But even after getting older, wiser, a little more cynical from heartbreak, mess-ups, break ups, 24 years of marriage to my true love, hurting and being hurt by my true love...I am still a sucker for love.  I believe in the beauty, power, pain and truth of love.  I take it all - the good, the bad, the ugly.  It's all one big beautiful mess.  With that being said I also believe we can get addicted to the thought of love and end up falling for something or someone that isn't our hearts true desire. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I do read sappy love stories. One of my favorite authors, Nicholas Sparks says,  “A guy out there was meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soulmate. The one you can tell your dreams to. He’ll brush the hair out of your eyes. Send you flowers when you least expect it. He’ll stare at you during the movies, even though he paid eight dollars to see it. He’ll call to say “Goodnight” or just because he is missing you. He’ll look in your eyes and tell you you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. And for the first time in your life, you’ll believe it.” This may sound a bit nauseating to you, I get that, but whether or not this is your style BELIEVE that it's true.  If you don't, then you haven't met him yet.   Don't waist your time with the wrong guy just because your afraid to be alone.  We tend to disguise our fears and deny our hopes and dreams. We make excuses that distract us from our truth.  This ultimately keep us from what we want most in life.  Our excuses might sound something like this:  "I'm just having fun; I'm not ready for a real commitment; I don't have time for a real relationship, we just have fun together; My heart isn't really in it- I'm just buying time, this relationship isn't really costing me anything emotionally." Side note:  Never believe the LIE that your current relationship isn't costing you anything emotionally.  OK - back to my thought... While our excuses  may be partially true, if you were honest with yourself would you be saying something a little more like this?   "I'm afraid nobody is ever going to really love me, if I don't stay with him I'm always going to be alone, no one is going to love me the way he does, no one will treat me better then he does,  dreams don't really come true so this is probably as good as it gets, I want someone to love me even when I'm un-loveable, I want someone to stay with me even when I'm pushing him away.  I'm afraid this kind of love doesn't exist, but I hope it does.  I don't want to be alone.  I'm afraid, so I'm going to settle for this guy even though I know deep in my heart this is not what I want." If any part of this resonates with you at all, it's worth taking some time to contemplate and ask yourself some tough questions: Is this relationship what I really want? Am I just settling because I'm afraid to be alone? Am I allowing my guy to treat me poorly because I think I don't deserve to be treated right? Am I staying with him because "he needs me"? Do I find a sense of self worth being needed by him? Am I afraid to be alone? Do I feel like a smaller version of myself? Did I stop following my dreams? Make a commitment to be true to yourself before you try and commit to somebody else.   "I  will not settle for less then what is best for me.  I will put my energy into becoming my best self. I am becoming what I want.   If I want an honest, loving, faithful, kind, caring, loyal, beautiful man.  Then I will take actions towards being honest, loving, faithful, kind, caring, loyal, and recognize my beauty and worth. I will not avoid the hard work of becoming my best self while settling for the feeling of being needed by a man.  I don't need a man to feel  good about myself.  I will not settle for taking care of a weak man.  I will care for myself and not expect someone else to complete me therefore I won't take on the impossible job of completing a man.  I will make healthy choices emotionally, spiritually and physically therefore attracting a man who makes healthy choices.  I am not afraid.  I can stand on my own.  I believe in love.  I am worthy of love. I love. I am loved."   Don't stop believing in love, but DO start believing in yourself.  You are worth a good man! And there are good men out there!

Free yourself from the crazy idea that you have to get it right!

The great thing about God's love is that it's not determined by us.  "God does not love us because we are good. God loves us because God is good." The difference between the way human love operates and the way God's love operates. Human love is a response - God's love moves first towards us whether or not we "deserve" it.  Divine love operates in an unqualified way, without making distinctions between persons, actions, or personal preferences. Divine love is received by surrender instead of performance or perfection.  There is nothing we can do to make God love us more then He already does and forever will!   It reminds me of the quote I heard in yoga this week..."Either the goal of yoga is to be FREE,  or the goal of yoga is to get it right. You can't really have it both ways. Because if you choose freedom, you have to free yourself of that crazy idea that you have to get it right."  The same goes with God's love -  We try so hard so measure up and at the same time want peace.  We can't have it both ways, either we SURRENDER to God's love or we spend our whole life trying to live up to the impossible notion that we must earn Divine Love.