Letting go of guilt and shame allows for change!

"Dear friends, if we don’t feel guilty, we can come to God with bold confidence. And we will receive from him whatever we ask because we obey him and do the things that please him."  (1 John 3:21, 22 NLT)   

It is our quilt, NOT God's disappointment of us that keeps us from Him.  He is NEVER disappointed in us but always LOVES us - no matter what.  When we continue down the path of feeling un-loved and not measuring up we isolate ourselves from God's grace.  A life without grace is no life at all.  We can't feel or see God's light when we just keep playing the "bad guy".  We live the victim mentality and never take responsibility for our actions or attitudes.  We feel guilty not because God is angry, we feel guilty because we feel sorry for ourselves.  That never changes anything! 
 If you know the way you should go, then go.
 If it's difficult,  ask for help.  
If your afraid, your not alone.  
If you are stubborn, let go of pride. 
If you are holding on to tight....surrender.  
We can come boldly to God, with confidence and know He is with us no matter what - when we let go of our guilt and shame.  Letting go of guilt and shame allows for change!  

Living inspired...

A Christian is someone who is animated by the Spirit of Christ, a person in whom the Spirit of Christ can work. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to consciously know what you are doing.  You feed the hungry, give to the poor, give a listening ear, be a friend to the friend-less, help the oppressed, cry with those who mourn and rejoice with those who are happy.  Jesus said - "Because you did it for these little ones, you did it for me."  They did not know, consciously; they just did what they were inspired to do.  If we really want to know God, we have to get out of our head and open up our hearts.  It's not about attaining more knowledge - this just creates arrogance and pride - a bigger EGO.    We need more wisdom that allows for humble, loving kindness.  It never depends upon whether we say the right words, but whether we live the right reality.  The difference between "lip service" and "true service".  Don't just say it - DO it!   If you are talking more then you are doing - try talking less and listening more.  Where there was judgement and hate - maybe there can be understanding, acceptance and love. <3 

Teaching true spirituality to our kids.

Happy Mothers Day - to all the primary care takers of our children.  What is it that you hope to teach your kids?  I'm always hoping that I'm passing on God's love to my children. 3 things to consider: How am I living? What do I believe? What do I say?  The pattern of our life, the principles that govern us and the power of our words is what teaches our children about spirituality.  Teaching them how to be good little humans so they can make a kind, loving, accepting contribution to this world. Helping them navigate matters of the heart as they are here  living on earth, not hiding them from what we fear here on earth.  As we teach our kids to be "Godly" - think about who God is.  Number one and most importantly - God is LOVE!  If we teach our kids love we teach them the very heart of God.  We model love and acceptance by our actions.  If our words about others don't match our actions our children see that.  They will learn to live a dualistic life if we as parents don't learn to live in unity - mind, body and spirit.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.  If you say you forgive - then drop it let it go, don't keep holding a grudge.  If you say you like something, don't talk about how much  you actually think it sucks.  If you are teaching to love without judgement, don't speak unkind words about those you don't agree with.  If you are teaching them to trust God and that He is a faithful provider - then don't stress out about money and worry that you don't have enough.  God is either generous or stingy.  What is it that you want your kids to believe about God?  What you do, what you say and what you believe is what you are passing on to your children.  How wonderful to be able to leave a monetary  inheritance BUT don't forget about the most important inheritance that you will pass onto your kids.  Money will only take you so far in life.  Money can't buy the most important inheritance we pass on to our children - LOVE!

Practice being human - spirituality without love is worthless.

Abraham Maslow says that one cannot meet higher needs at any level of depth if the lesser needs are not first tended to.  Jesus says when you are “worried about many things” (Luke 10:41), you cannot have faith. When you cannot enjoy the lilies of the field or the sparrows in the sky, don’t waste time thinking you can enjoy God.   Trying to be spiritual before we have learned how to be human is a major problem. Maybe this is why Jesus came to model humanity for us—much more than divinity.  Sometimes in pursuit of spirituality we become so "holier-then-thou"  we are no good to humanity.  Keep it real and remember you are only human.   Start with your God given birth right...to simply love and be loved. That is where it all begins.  Start with the basic things - love your pet, love your garden, love your job, love cooking, love studying, love your dinner, love the ocean, love your family, love your friends, love jogging, love taking a walk, love playing sports, love watching sports,  love your hobby - just start enjoying what it is that you love in your life. Enjoy the good things - take it all in. If we start at the most simple, basic human level God will take it all from there. Get the human thing down and you will have all the spirituality that you can handle.  (Adapted from Richard's daily meditations)

Got guilt? Get present.

One of the most effective ways to let go of guilt is to be present.  I just got back from Vegas with my mom and son for a basketball tournament.  My son made an interesting observation; "you know what I hate most about Vegas? The mornings.  You can just feel the heaviness and darkness of peoples guilt." He's right, guilt and regret is a heavy load to carry. Guilt sucks!  Guilt seeks punishment and punishment creates pain.  When we are hung up on yesterday we can't move into the NOW - we stay stuck and hurt.  Choosing to live with guilt is a painful existence. Life is to precious to carry the weight of the past with you! Make a choice to let go, make changes where needed and let your real life begin.  We aren't living our real life when we live with guilt and regret. Instead we are reliving our past life over and over again, insisting on punishing our self over and over again creating more and more pain. Our real life is one that can be full of healing, love, forgiveness, happiness, peace and joy. We can't just sit around waiting and hoping for our real life to begin we have to CHOOSE to walk INTO the present and walk OUT of the past. God's presence is in the present and His mercies and blessings are new every day. Today brings life, yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn't promised...so let your real life begin today.

At some point we have to deal with what's real.

At some point we have to deal with the inside. At some point we have to deal with what's real. We have to stop over focussing on what we are doing or not doing.  We have to go inward to see the truth.  We are not defined by what we do, BUT make no mistake about it - what we do is telling of what's going on inside.  If you see the need to make some changes in your actions start by looking at the "why" not the "what".

To all the single ladies looking for love: Don't stop believing in love, but DO start believing in yourself.

Yes I admit, I'm a sucker for love.  But even after getting older, wiser, a little more cynical from heartbreak, mess-ups, break ups, 24 years of marriage to my true love, hurting and being hurt by my true love...I am still a sucker for love.  I believe in the beauty, power, pain and truth of love.  I take it all - the good, the bad, the ugly.  It's all one big beautiful mess.  With that being said I also believe we can get addicted to the thought of love and end up falling for something or someone that isn't our hearts true desire. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I do read sappy love stories. One of my favorite authors, Nicholas Sparks says,  “A guy out there was meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soulmate. The one you can tell your dreams to. He’ll brush the hair out of your eyes. Send you flowers when you least expect it. He’ll stare at you during the movies, even though he paid eight dollars to see it. He’ll call to say “Goodnight” or just because he is missing you. He’ll look in your eyes and tell you you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. And for the first time in your life, you’ll believe it.” This may sound a bit nauseating to you, I get that, but whether or not this is your style BELIEVE that it's true.  If you don't, then you haven't met him yet.   Don't waist your time with the wrong guy just because your afraid to be alone.  We tend to disguise our fears and deny our hopes and dreams. We make excuses that distract us from our truth.  This ultimately keep us from what we want most in life.  Our excuses might sound something like this:  "I'm just having fun; I'm not ready for a real commitment; I don't have time for a real relationship, we just have fun together; My heart isn't really in it- I'm just buying time, this relationship isn't really costing me anything emotionally." Side note:  Never believe the LIE that your current relationship isn't costing you anything emotionally.  OK - back to my thought... While our excuses  may be partially true, if you were honest with yourself would you be saying something a little more like this?   "I'm afraid nobody is ever going to really love me, if I don't stay with him I'm always going to be alone, no one is going to love me the way he does, no one will treat me better then he does,  dreams don't really come true so this is probably as good as it gets, I want someone to love me even when I'm un-loveable, I want someone to stay with me even when I'm pushing him away.  I'm afraid this kind of love doesn't exist, but I hope it does.  I don't want to be alone.  I'm afraid, so I'm going to settle for this guy even though I know deep in my heart this is not what I want." If any part of this resonates with you at all, it's worth taking some time to contemplate and ask yourself some tough questions: Is this relationship what I really want? Am I just settling because I'm afraid to be alone? Am I allowing my guy to treat me poorly because I think I don't deserve to be treated right? Am I staying with him because "he needs me"? Do I find a sense of self worth being needed by him? Am I afraid to be alone? Do I feel like a smaller version of myself? Did I stop following my dreams? Make a commitment to be true to yourself before you try and commit to somebody else.   "I  will not settle for less then what is best for me.  I will put my energy into becoming my best self. I am becoming what I want.   If I want an honest, loving, faithful, kind, caring, loyal, beautiful man.  Then I will take actions towards being honest, loving, faithful, kind, caring, loyal, and recognize my beauty and worth. I will not avoid the hard work of becoming my best self while settling for the feeling of being needed by a man.  I don't need a man to feel  good about myself.  I will not settle for taking care of a weak man.  I will care for myself and not expect someone else to complete me therefore I won't take on the impossible job of completing a man.  I will make healthy choices emotionally, spiritually and physically therefore attracting a man who makes healthy choices.  I am not afraid.  I can stand on my own.  I believe in love.  I am worthy of love. I love. I am loved."   Don't stop believing in love, but DO start believing in yourself.  You are worth a good man! And there are good men out there!

Free yourself from the crazy idea that you have to get it right!

The great thing about God's love is that it's not determined by us.  "God does not love us because we are good. God loves us because God is good." The difference between the way human love operates and the way God's love operates. Human love is a response - God's love moves first towards us whether or not we "deserve" it.  Divine love operates in an unqualified way, without making distinctions between persons, actions, or personal preferences. Divine love is received by surrender instead of performance or perfection.  There is nothing we can do to make God love us more then He already does and forever will!   It reminds me of the quote I heard in yoga this week..."Either the goal of yoga is to be FREE,  or the goal of yoga is to get it right. You can't really have it both ways. Because if you choose freedom, you have to free yourself of that crazy idea that you have to get it right."  The same goes with God's love -  We try so hard so measure up and at the same time want peace.  We can't have it both ways, either we SURRENDER to God's love or we spend our whole life trying to live up to the impossible notion that we must earn Divine Love.